angels themselves would envy us, were envy not an imperfection. But for
sufferings to bear really meritorious we must patiently and gratefully
accept unsuitable remedies and comforts, and all other additional
trials. I did not myself fully understand my state, nor know what it
was to lead to. In my soul I accepted my different sufferings, but in
my body it was my duty to strive against them. I had given myself
wholly and entirely to my Heavenly Spouse, and his holy will was being
accomplished in me; but I was living on earth, where I was not to rebel
against earthly wisdom and earthly prescriptions. Even had I fully
comprehended my state, and had both time and power to explain it, there
was no one near who would have been able to understand me. A doctor
would simply have concluded that I was entirely mad, and would have
increased his expensive and painful remedies tenfold. I have suffered
much in this way during the whole of my life, and particularly when I
was at the convent, from having unsuitable remedies administered to me.
Often, when my doctors and nurses had reduced me to the last agony, and
that I was near death, God took pity on me, and sent me some
supernatural assistance, which effected an entire cure.'

Four years before the suppression of her convent she went to Flamske
for two days to visit her parents. Whilst there she went once to kneel
and pray for some hours before the miraculous Cross of the Church of
St. Lambert, at Coesfeld. She besought the Almighty to bestow the gifts
of peace and unity upon her convent, offered him the Passion of Jesus
Christ for that intention, and implored him to allow her to feel a
portion of the sufferings which were endured by her Divine Spouse on
the Cross. From the time that she made this prayer her hands and feet
became burning and painful, and she suffered constantly from fever,
which she believed was the cause of the pain in her hands and feet, for
she did not dare to think that her prayer had been granted. Often she