Clerambault - The Story of an Independent Spirit During the War by Romain Rolland
page 50 of 280 (17%)
page 50 of 280 (17%)
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a violent, concentrated joy such as is felt in the last second before
extinction by a woman who drowns herself with the man she loves. Clerambault however was weaker, and waking from his dizziness he thought: "I too have given all, even what was not my own." He inquired of the military authorities, but they knew nothing as yet. Ten days later came the news that Sergeant Clerambault was reported as missing from the night of the 27-28th of the preceding month. Clerambault could get no further details at the Paris bureaus; therefore he set out for Geneva, went to the Red Cross, the Agency for Prisoners,--could find nothing; followed up every clue, got permission to question comrades of his son in hospitals or depots behind the lines. They all gave contradictory information; one said he was a prisoner, another had seen him dead, and both the next day admitted that they had been mistaken.... Oh! tortures! God of vengeance!... He came back after a fortnight from this Way of the Cross, aged, broken-down, exhausted. He found his wife in a paroxysm of frantic grief, which in this good-natured creature had turned to a furious hatred of the enemy; she cried out for revenge, and for the first time Clerambault did not answer. He had not strength enough to hate, he could only suffer. He shut himself into his room. During that frightful ten days' pilgrimage he had scarcely looked his thoughts in the face, hypnotised as he was, day and night by one idea, like a dog on a scent,--faster! go faster! The slowness of carriages and trains consumed him, and once, when he had taken a room for the night, he rushed away the same |
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