I will allow either of the two I have mentioned, or any other of
the fraternity, to be not only astrologers, but conjurers too, if
I do not produce a hundred instances in all their almanacks, to
convince any reasonable man, that they do not so much as
understand common grammar and syntax; that they are not able to
spell any word out of the usual road, nor even in their prefaces
write common sense or intelligible English. Then for their
observations and predictions, they are such as will equally suit
any age or country in the world. "This month a certain great
person will be threatened with death or sickness." This the
news-papers will tell them; for there we find at the end of the
year, that no month passes without the death of some person of
note; and it would be hard if it should be otherwise, when there
are at least two thousand persons of not in this kingdom, many of
them old, and the almanack-maker has the liberty of chusing the
sickliest season of the year where he may fix his prediction.
Again, "This month an eminent clergyman will be preferr'd;" of
which there may be some hundreds half of them with one foot in
the grave. Then "such a planet in such a house shews great
machinations, plots and conspiracies, that may in time be brought
to light:" After which, if we hear of any discovery, the
astrologer gets the honour; if not, his prediction still stands
good. And at last, "God preserve King William from all his open
and secret enemies, Amen." When if the King should happen to have
died, the astrologer plainly foretold it; otherwise it passes but
for the pious ejaculation of a loyal subject: Though it unluckily
happen'd in some of their almanacks, that poor King William was
pray'd for many months after he was dead, because it fell out
that he died about the beginning of the year.