consumption will rise by a quarter or 25 per cent."--_Glasgow
Evening News_.

We are always timid about questioning a Scotsman's arithmetic, but we
make the increase a third, or 33-1/3 per cent.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _He (connoisseur of wines)_. "WE STAYED SEVERAL DAYS AT
AN INN IN A LITTLE GLOUCESTERSHIRE VILLAGE, AS WE FOUND THEY HAD SUCH
AN EXCELLENT CELLAR."

_She_. "REALLY! I HAD NO IDEA THE RAIDERS HAD GOT SO FAR WEST AS
THAT."]

* * * * *

CROSS-TALK WITH PETHERTON.

Petherton and I have just emerged from another bombardment. Certain
correspondence in _The Surbury Gazette and North Herts Courier_ gave
me a welcome excuse for firing what I may term a sighting shot. I
wrote to my genial neighbour as follows:--

DEAR MR. PETHERTON,--No doubt you have seen the recent letters in the
local paper anent the remains of the old Cross, which are at once an
ornament to Castle Street, Surbury, and a standing menace to the peace
of mind of the local antiquarians.

I am exceedingly interested in the matter myself and feel that the