* * * * *

"Sir John Hare declares that there is no truth in the statement
that he is saying '----' to the stage."--_Bournemouth Echo._

Personally, we never believed that he would be guilty of such
language.

* * * * *

"The only thing which will actually bring peace is an army of
occupation standing on its own flat feet, either in Germany or
on the German frontier."--_Weekly Dispatch._

But why this preference for the flat-footed? Are not the hammer-toed
to have a chance?

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE DANCE OF DEATH.

THE KAISER. "STOP! STOP! I'M TIRED."

DEATH. "I STARTED AT YOUR BIDDING; I STOP WHEN I CHOOSE."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Officer_. "I SAY--LOOK HERE. I TOLD YOU TO GO TO
PADDINGTON, AND YOU'RE GOING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION."