the latest editions of the evening papers.

***

According to the Acton magistrate, under new instructions boys over
fourteen must pay their own fines or go to prison, parents paying the
fines for those below that age. This class legislation is bitterly
resented by some of our younger wage-earners, who intend to insist
upon their right to pay for their own amusements.

***

People living next door to a post-office where burglars blew open the
safe thought it was an air raid and went into the cellar. A suggestion
that signals, clearly distinguishable from those used in air raids,
should be used on these occasions, is under consideration in the right
quarter.

***

The FOOD CONTROLLER has advised the Liverpool Corporation that
vegetable marrows are not fruit. There is a growing belief among jam
manufacturers that Lord RHONDDA'S business ability has been overrated.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A HINT.

_Unsuccessful Competitor at the Allotment-holders' Show._ "I AIN'T
MAKING ANY COMPLAINT, MR. SMITH. BUT W'EN THE FUST PRIZE FOR ONIONS