Quarrelsome in their Cups.

Should the European Powers get into a fight over the Sublime Porte, what
a strong argument it would be in favor of temperance!

* * * * *

[Illustration: ABOUT A FOOT.

_Mr. Bunyan (whose corns have just been subjected to severe pressure)._
"YOU OLD BEGGAR, YOU!"

_Mr. Lightfoot (who is a little hard of hearing)._ "NO APOLOGY
NECESSARY, I ASSURE YOU, SIR; MATTER OF NO CONSEQUENCE WHATEVER; PRAY
DON'T MENTION IT."]

* * * * *

MR. BEZZLE'S DREAM.

MR. BEZZLE was the editor and proprietor of a large and influential
newspaper that sold two for a cent, and had special correspondents in
every corner of the office. By honest industry and a generous disregard
of what went into the newspaper, so that it paid, he had raised himself
to the highest rung of fortune's ladder, and we all know what tall
ringing _that_ is. He used to say that to accept one kind of
advertisement and to reject another, was an injustice to the public and
an outrage upon society, and that strict integrity required that he
should accept, at as much as he could get a line, every advertisement