He will stand as motionless as bronze,
While his features, classically moulded,
Hourly grow more like NAPOLEON'S.

What the Conference will do without him
Hardly can we venture to surmise;
Delegates who would not dare to flout him
Manifest their joy without disguise.
Freed from his relentless catechizing
WILSON goes out golfing all the day;
Printers, save for common advertising,
Sadly put their pica type away.

Still, although this act of self-seclusion
May create irreparable schism,
Whelm the Conference in dire confusion
And produce a cosmic cataclysm;
Let us, musing on his past achievement,
Bear with calm our soul-consuming grief
And condole in their supreme bereavement
With his Staff, deserted by their Chief.

* * * * *

"COWS, PIGS, ETC.

"GIRL (15), leaving school, desires position in nice office or
bank."--_Local Paper_.

Much virtue in "etc."