me incomprehensible to my self, viz.: that on the one hand I am
free, and on the other dependent. Let us examine these two things,
and see whether it is possible to reconcile them.

I am a dependent being. Independency is the supreme perfection. To
be by one's self is to carry within one's self the source or spring
of one's own being; or, which is the same, it is to borrow nothing
from any being different from one's self. Suppose a being that has
all the perfections you can imagine, but which has a borrowed and
dependent being, and you will find him to be less perfect than
another being in which you would suppose but bare independency. For
there is no comparison to be made between a being that exists by
himself and a being who has nothing of his own--nothing but what is
precarious and borrowed--and is in himself, as it were, only upon
trust.

This consideration brings me to acknowledge the imperfection of what
I call my soul. If she existed by herself, it would borrow nothing
from another; she would not want either to be instructed in her
ignorances, or to be rectified in her errors. Nothing could reclaim
her from her vices, or inspire her with virtue; for nothing would be
able to render her will better than it should have been at first.
This soul would ever possess whatever she should be capable to
enjoy, nor could she ever receive any addition from without. On the
other hand, it is no less certain that she could not lose anything,
for what is or exists by itself is always necessarily whatever it
is. Therefore my soul could not fall into ignorance, error, or
vice, or suffer any diminution of good-will; nor could she, on the
other hand, instruct or correct herself, or become better than she
is. Now, I experience the contrary of all these; for I forget,