_Tommy (on short leave)_. "WHAT! AND RISK C.B. FOR OVERSTAYING MY
LEAVE?"]

* * * * *

ON THE RHINE.

I.

"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, I am a bold and infamous Hun, I am, I am."

We are obliged to repeat this continually to ourselves in order to
present the stern and forbidding air which is supposed to mark our
dealings with the inhabitants. For, look you, we have usurped the
place of the Royal Jocks on the "right flank of the British Army," and
are on outpost duty, with our right resting on the bank of the Rhine,
while in front the notice-boards, "Limit of Cologne Bridgehead," stare
at us.

No longer are we the pleasant, easy-going, pay-through-the-nose people
that we were. No longer does our daily routine include the smile for
Mademoiselle, the chipping of Madame, or the half-penny for the little
ones. No, we steel ourselves steadily to the grim task entrusted to
us, and struggle to offer a perfect picture of stolid indifference to
anybody's welfare but our own. "Fee-fi-fo-fum."

What does Thomas think of it all? Well, to tell the truth, I haven't
caught him thinking very much about it. Gloating seems foreign to his
nature somehow, and I don't think he will ever make a really good