Charged at Hove with bigamy a soldier stated that he remembered
nothing about his second marriage and pleaded that he was
absent-minded. A very good plan is to tie a knot in your boot-lace
every time you get married.

***

A sorry blow has been dealt at those who maintain we are not a
commercial race. "You gave me prussic acid in mistake for quinine this
morning," a man told a chemist the other day. "Is that so?" said the
chemist; "then you owe me another twopence."

***

For the benefit of those about to emigrate we have pleasure in
furnishing the exclusive information that very shortly there will
be big openings in America for corkscrew-straighteners.

***

We are now able to state that the wedding of Princess PATRICIA and
Commander RAMSAY passed off without a hymeneal ode from the POET
LAUREATE.

***

We understand that a lady operator who was impudent to the District
Supervisor on the telephone the other day would have been severely
reprimanded but for her plea that she mistook him for a subscriber.