That glows and flames to perfect comprehension;
And I, whom no Rosetta Stone assists,
Become the peer of Egyptologists,
From whom exotic tongues no secrets keep;
For this is what the alien blighter says:
"Nice orang'; three for one piastre; very cheap."

* * * * *

"Napoleon was crowned Emperor of the French on December 2nd, 1804,
and abdicated in 1914. On December 2nd, 1918, the papers announced
the formal abdication of Wilhelm II. of Germany."--_Kent
Messenger_.

WILHELM probably wishes that he had chosen the same date for his
abdication as NAPOLEON.

* * * * *

When a dear little lady from Lancashire
Came to London to act as a bank cashier,
And asked, "Is it true
1 + 1 = 2?"
They thought they'd revert to a man cashier.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE BABES IN THE WOOD.

THE OLD LIBERAL NURSERY (_moribund but sanguine_). "NO MATTER--A