It is hoped that if M. PADEREWSKI becomes President of the new Polish
Republic he will experience the truth of the old proverb, _Chi va
piano va sano._

* * * * *

[Illustration: _British Officer (Army of occupation)_. "LOOK OUT, OLD
BEAN! WE'RE GETTING THE GLAD EYE."]

* * * * *

THE ARMY OF ENTERTAINMENT, LTD.

As a mere soldier threatened with unemployment owing to the sudden
outbreak of peace, I offer to any enterprising company-promoter an
idea which should provide him with an immense fortune and myself with
a congenial means of livelihood.

My suggestion is that, with the consent of Lord NORTHCLIFFE and the
Allies, a slice of the old Front should be kept up _in statu quo_, and
a representative assortment of troops retained to hold it on what was
our side, and to carry on the War as it was in the good old days of
'15, when we thought our life's work was bespoken and soldiers with
boy babies raised the question of making acting rank hereditary. No
enemy would be employed, experiment having proved that the existence
of an enemy detracts from the enjoyment of modern war.

The little army, commanded by a General, himself an employé of
the Army of Entertainment Co., Ltd., would conduct operations for