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Comic History of England by Bill Nye
page 48 of 108 (44%)
William hastily returned from Normandy, and made short work of the
rebellion. The following year another outbreak occurring in
Northumberland, William mischievously laid waste sixty miles of fertile
country, and wilfully slaughtered one hundred thousand people,--men,
women, and children. And yet we have among us those who point with pride
to their Norman lineage when they ought to be at work supporting their
families.

In 1070 the Archbishop of Canterbury was degraded from his position, and
a Milanese monk on his Milan knees succeeded him. The Saxons became
serfs, and the Normans used the school tax to build large, repulsive
castles in which to woo the handcuffed Anglo-Saxon maiden at their
leisure. An Anglo-Saxon maiden without a rope ladder in the pocket of
her basque was a rare sight. Many very thrilling stories are written of
those days, and bring a good price.

William was passionately fond of hunting, and the penalty for killing a
deer or boar without authority was greater than for killing a human
being out of season.

In order to erect a new forest, he devastated thirty miles of farming
country, and drove the people, homeless and foodless, to the swamps. He
also introduced the curfew, which he had rung in the evening for his
subjects in order to remind them that it was time to put out the lights,
as well as the cat, and retire. This badge of servitude caused great
annoyance among the people, who often wished to sit up and visit, or
pass the tankard about and bid dull care begone.

William, however, was not entirely happy. While reigning, his children
grew up without proper training. Robert, his son, unhorsed the old
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