later arrivals running the whole length of the train and back again in
the mad hope of finding places. Your representative managed to get a
word with some of these later arrivals, and asked them how they liked
running up and down, and whether they were much disappointed at not
finding room; but the answers were mostly unsatisfactory and in some
cases uncivil. The booking-clerk, questioned as to the phraseology
employed by August holiday folk in asking for their tickets, whether it
is "Third return, please," or "Third return," or "Third return and look
sharp," showed by his answer that the expression "please" is falling
into desuetude on these occasions, his exact words being "There's
precious little 'please' knocking about, and anyone who has the cheek to
tell me to 'look sharp' is jolly well kept waiting till the last!" Your
representative, wishing to report at first-hand the experience of those
who were travelling thirty in a compartment meant to accommodate ten in
the "Paradeville fast," tried to get in and make a thirty-first,
explaining that it was only for a minute and was with the object of
getting local colour, but was forcibly expelled, and, falling on the
platform and sustaining some slight contusions, decided to cease
reporting on August scenes at the great termini for that day.

* * * * *

TWO DUMB WARRIORS.

I.--HYLDEBRAND.

When the Heatherdale Hussars received a two-hours' notice to "trek"
they, of course, dumped their mascot, Hyldebrand, a six-months-old wild
boar, at the Town Major's. They would have done the same with a baby or
a full-grown hippopotamus. The harassed T.M. discovered Hyldebrand in