SHALL GET AS NEAR IT AS WE CAN."]

* * * * *

F. E.

_A SIMPLE BIOGRAPHIC RECITATIVE BASED ON THE TONIC SOL-FA NOTE OF MI._

In ante-bellum days, ah me, when I a stuffman used to be, and proudly
pouched a junior's fee, the _Law List_ styled me "Smith, F.E." Oh,
how my place seemed small for me; not that I scorned the stuffman's
fee, but stuffy courts did not agree with me. I dearly longed to be
respiring often, fresh and free, the breath that was the life of me,
so I became a live M.P. And, lest the spacious H. of C. should fail to
hold sufficiently the lot of air respired by me, said I, "A soldier
I will be--not one of Foot (that's Infantry), nor yet the reg'lar
Cavalry, for barrack-life will not suit me, yet ride I must the high
gee-gee;" so I decided straight to be an officer of Yeomanry. Drilling
the troopers on the lea, the vent I craved for gave to me. Moreover,
on my high gee-gee I learned what galloping could be.

Those back-bench days! Ah me, ah me, rude Members christened me "F.E."
And even _Punch_, in kindly glee, once on a time, did picture me a
prowling beast, beside the sea, all spotted o'er with signs, "F.E."
That patronymic thus will be preserved for immortality. Newspapers,
too, I chance to see sometimes apply that name to me.

Although I found smart repartee, shot forth from back seats, gave me
glee, still I aspired to climb the tree, so with restrained temerity
I donned a gown of silk, i.e. became a fully-fledged K.C. Then, after