Private Goodbody eyed me with something suspiciously like contempt.

"If my missus started playin' any o' them monkey tricks on me, givin'
the wrong change an' sich, I'd put it acrost 'er," he said.

And there the matter rests for the present. I feel that I should not
lead Private Goodbody any further into the intricacies of his subject
until he has solved my problem. This he resolutely professes himself
unable to do, and begs to be allowed to leave it and plunge into the
giddy vortex of the multiplication table.

Yours faithfully, MENTOR.

* * * * *

"A cable message of 100 words from London to Johannesburg to-day,
at 2s. 6d. a word, costs £1 10s."--_Evening Paper_.

We suppose the Post Office makes a reduction for taking a quantity.

* * * * *

THE WIND.

The day I saw the Wind I stood
All by myself inside our wood,
Where Nurse had told me I must wait
While she went back through the white gate
To fetch her work ... I don't know why,