***

In view of the recent newspaper articles on spiritualism, several
prominent persons are about to announce that they have decided not
to grant any interviews after death.

***

Liverpool Licensing Justices have urged the Liquor Control Board to
take steps to prevent the drinking of methylated spirits by women. It
is suggested that distillers should be compelled to give their whisky
a distinctive flavour.

***

"A box of cigarettes was all that burglars took from the Theatre
Royal, Aldershot," says a news item. There is something magnificently
arrogant about that "all."

***

"Saying 'Thank you' to a customer," says a news item, "a Wallasey
butcher fell unconscious." In our neighbourhood it used to be, until
quite lately, the customer who fell unconscious.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "NOW LOOK HERE, SIMPKINS--I CAN'T HAVE MY CHIEF CASHIER
TURNING UP LIKE THIS. IT'S A DISGRACE TO THE OFFICE."