Whom to eschew, and what to chew,
Where shun, and where take rations,
I sing. Attend, ye diners-out,
And, if my numbers please you, shout
"Hear, hear!" in acclamations.

There are who treat you, once a year,
To the same stupid set; Good cheer
Such hardship cannot soften.
To listen to the self-same dunce,
At the same leaden table, once
Per annum's once too often.

Rather than that, mix on my plate
With men I like the meat I hate--
Colman with pig and treacle;
Luttrell with ven'son-pasty join,
Lord Normanby with orange-wine,
And rabbit-pie with Jekyll.

Add to George Lambe a sable snipe,
Conjoin with Captain Morris tripe,
By parsley roots made denser;
Mix Macintosh with mack'rel, with
Calves-head and bacon Sydney Smith,
And mutton-broth with Spencer.

Shun sitting next the wight, whose drone
Bores, _sotto voce_, you alone
With flat colloquial pressure: