that I received for my work. The women wished to show their appreciation
by paying me for the extra labor that I performed in their instruction;
not knowing the fact, that I did it simply in order that they might pass
an examination which should again convince the committee that I was in the
right place. I forbade them all payment, as I had refused it to the male
students when they wished to pay me for their extra instruction on the
manikin: but in a true, womanly way, they managed to learn the date of
my birthday; when two or three, instead of attending the lecture, took
possession of my room, which they decorated with flowers; while en the
table they displayed presents to the amount of some hundred and twenty
dollars, which the fifty-six women of the class had collected among
themselves. This was, of course, a great surprise to me, and really made
me feel sad; for I did not wish for things of this sort. I wished to prove
that unselfishness was the real motive of my work; and thought that I
should finally earn the crown of appreciation from my enemies, for which I
was striving. This gift crossed all my plans. I must accept it, if I would
not wound the kindest of hearts; yet I felt that I lost my game by so
doing. I quietly packed every thing into a basket, and put it out of sight
under the bed, in order that I might not be reminded of my loss. Of
course, all these things were at once reported. I saw in the faces of many
that something was in agitation, and waited a fortnight in constant
expectation of its coming. But these people wished to crush me entirely.
They knew well that a blow comes hardest when least expected, and
therefore kept quiet week after week, until I really began to ask their
pardon in my heart for having done them the wrong to expect them to act
meanly about a thing that was natural and allowable. In a word, I became
quiet and happy again in the performance of my duties; until suddenly six
weeks after my birthday, I was summoned to the presence of Director Horn
(the same who had reprimanded me for leaving the church), who received me
with a face as hard and stern as an avenging judge, and asked me whether I