ask myself, whether marriage is an institution to relieve parents from
embarrassment. When troubled about the future of a son, parents are ready
to give him to the army; when in fears of the destiny of a daughter, they
induce her to become the slave of the marriage bond. I never doubted that
it was more unendurable and unworthy to be a wife without love, than a
soldier without a special calling for that profession; and I never could
think of marriage as the means to procure a shelter and bread.

I had so many schemes in my head, that I would not listen to his words.
Among these was especially the wish to emigrate to America. The
Pennsylvania Female Medical College had sent its first Report to Dr.
Schmidt, who had informed me of it as well as his colleagues, and had
advocated the justice of such a reform. This fact occurred to my memory;
and, for the next two months, I did nothing but speculate how to carry out
my design of emigration. I had lived rather expensively and lavishly,
without thinking of laying up any money; and my whole fortune, when I left
the Charité, consisted of sixty dollars.

One thing happened in connection with my leaving the hospital, which I
must relate here. Director Horn was required to justify his conduct to
the minister to whom the change had to be reported; and a committee was
appointed to hear the accusation and pass judgment upon the affair. As
this was done in secrecy and not before a jury, and as the accuser was a
man of high rank, I knew nothing of it until Christmas Eve, when I
received a document stating that, _as a gratification for my services for
the benefit of the city of Berlin_ in instructing the class of midwives, a
compensation was decreed me of fifty dollars. This was a large sum for
Berlin, such as was only given on rare occasions. I was also informed that
Director Horn was instructed to give me, should I ever demand it, a
first-class certificate of what my position had been in the hospital with