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NAPOLEONDER[1]

[Footnote 1: The Russian peasant's name for Napoleon Bonaparte. The
final syllable "der" has perhaps been added because to the ear of the
peasant "Napoleon" sounds clipped and incomplete, as "Alexan" would
sound to us without the "der."]

Long ago--but not so very long ago; our grandfathers remember it--the
Lord God wanted to punish the people of the world for their wickedness.
So he began to think how and by what means he could punish them, and he
called a council of his angels and archangels to talk about it. Says the
archangel Michael to the Lord God: "Shake them up, the recreants, with
an earthquake."

"We've tried that," says the Lord God. "Once upon a time we jolted to
pieces Sodom and Gomorrah, but it didn't teach them anything. Since then
pretty much all the towns have become Sodoms and Gomorrahs."

"How about famine?" says the archangel Gabriel.

"It would be too bad for the babies," replies the Lord God. "Famine
would kill the babies. And, besides that, the cattle must have
food--they're not to blame."

"Drown them with a flood," suggests Raphael.