Vain Fortune by George (George Augustus) Moore
page 29 of 203 (14%)
page 29 of 203 (14%)
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this burden of physical toil he was acting not in contradiction to, but in
full and perfect harmony with, his true nature. But at the end of a week his health began to give way, and, like a man after a violent debauch, he thought of returning to a more normal existence. He had left the manuscript of his unfortunate play in the North. Had they destroyed it? The involuntary fear of the writer for his child made him smile. What did it matter? Clearly the first thing to do would be to write to the editor of _The Cosmopolitan_, and ask if he could find him some employment, something certain; writing occasional articles for newspapers, that he couldn't do. Hubert had saved twelve shillings. He would therefore be able to pay his landlady: he smiled--one of his landladies! The earlier debt was now hopelessly out of his reach, and seemed to represent a social plane from which he had for ever fallen. If he had succeeded in getting that play right, what a difference it would have made! He would have been able to do a number of things he had never done, things which he had always desired to do. He had desired above all to travel--to see France and Italy; to linger, to muse in the shadows of the world's past; and after this he had desired marriage, an English wife, an English home, beautiful children, leisure, the society of friends. A successful play would have given him all these things, and now his dream must remain for ever unrealised by him. He had sunk out of sight and hearing of such life. Rose was another; she might sink as he had sunk; she might never find the opportunity of realising her desire. How well she would have played that part! He knew what was in her. And now! What did his failure to write that play condemn him to? Heaven only knows, he did not wish to think. Strange, was it not strange?... A man of genius--many believed him a genius--and yet |
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