I must not think of it!

"Squire Tyrrel is very headstrong, and you, your honour, might be a
little hottish, or so. No, I would not have any body quarrel for me.
There has been mischief enough done already; and I will get myself out
of the way. So I write this, your honour, merely to unload my mind. I
feel myself equally as much bound to respect and love you, as if you had
done every thing for me, that I believe you would have done if things
had chanced differently. It is most likely you will never hear of me any
more. If it should be so, set your worthy heart at rest. I know myself
too well, ever to be tempted to do any thing that is really bad. I have
now my fortune to seek in the world. I have been used ill enough, God
knows. But I bear no malice; my heart is at peace with all mankind; and
I forgive every body. It is like enough that poor Leonard and I may have
hardship enough to undergo, among strangers, and being obliged to hide
ourselves like housebreakers or highwaymen. But I defy all the malice of
fortune to make us do an ill thing. That consolation we will always keep
against all the crosses of a heart-breaking world.

"God bless you!
So prays,
Your honour's humble servant to command,
BENJAMIN HAWKINS."

I read this letter with considerable attention, and it occasioned me
many reflections. To my way of thinking it contained a very interesting
picture of a blunt, downright, honest mind. "It is a melancholy
consideration," said I to myself; "but such is man! To have judged from
appearances one would have said, this is a fellow to have taken
fortune's buffets and rewards with an incorruptible mind. And yet see