A CHAPTER,

_Gratis and Explanatory_.


What is the use of a preface? Who wants a preface? Nay, more--what is a
preface? Who can define it? That which it is most unlike is the
mathematical myth called a point, which may be said to have neither
length nor breadth, and consequently no existence; whereas a preface
generally has extreme length, all the breadth the printer can give it,
and an universal existence.

But if prefaces cannot be described with mathematical accuracy, they
admit of classification with most unmathematical inaccuracy. First, you
have a large class which may be called CLAIMERS. Ex.: One claims a
certain degree of consideration, upon the ground that it is the author's
first effort; a second claims indulgence, upon the ground of haste; a
third claims attention, upon the ground of the magnitude and importance
of the subject, &c. &c. Another large class may be termed MAKERS. Ex.:
One makes an excuse for tediousness; a second makes an apology for
delay; a third makes his endeavours plead for favourable reception, &c.
Then again you have the INTERROGATOR, wherein a reader is found before
the work is printed, convenient questions are put into his mouth, and
ready replies are given, to which no rejoinder is permitted. This is
very astute practice.--Then again there is the PUFFER AND CONDENSER,
wherein, if matter be wanting in the work, a prefacial waggon is put
before the chapteral pony, the former acting the part of pemican, or
concentrated essence, the latter representing the liquid necessary for