The idee was that Mary Ann would help her Ma; but, land!
She can't be round a minute but some boarder's right on hand
Ter take her out ter walk or ride--_she_ likes it well enough,
But when you 're gittin' grub for twelve, Ma finds it kinder tough.
We ain't a-sayin' nothin' now, we'll see this season through,
But folks that bought one gold brick ain't in love with number two;
An' if you're passin' down our way next summer, cast your eye
At our front fence. You'll see a sign,
"NO BOARDERS NEED APPLY."

* * * * *

A COLLEGE TRAINING

Home from college came the stripling, calm and cool and debonair,
With a weird array of raiment and a wondrous wealth of hair,
With a lazy love of languor and a healthy hate of work
And a cigarette devotion that would shame the turbaned Turk.
And he called his father "Guv'nor," with a cheek serene and rude,
While that raging, wrathful rustic calld his son a "blasted dude."
And in dark and direful language muttered threats of coming harm
To the "idle, shif'less critter" from his father's good right arm.

And the trouble reached a climax on the lawn behind the shed,--
"Now, I'm gon' ter lick yer, sonny," so the sturdy parent said,
"And I'll knock the college nonsense from your noddle, mighty quick!"--
Then he lit upon that chappy like a wagon-load of brick.
But the youth serenely murmured, as he gripped his angry dad,
"You're a clever rusher, Guv'nor, but you tackle very bad";
And he rushed him through the center and he tripped him for a fall,