And allers when we'd company come, they had ter see the thing,
And, course they almost had a fit when "birdie" come ter sing.
But, by and by, b'gosh! I found it somehow lost its joys,
I found it kind er made me sick to hear that senseless noise;
I wished 't was jest a common clock, that struck a gong, yer know,
And didn't have no foolish bird ter flap his wings and go:
"_Hoo_-hoo! _Hoo_-hoo! _Hoo_-hoo!"

Well, things git on from bad to wuss, until I'm free ter grant,
I'd smash it into kindlin', but a present, so, I can't!
And, though a member of the church, and deacon, I declare,
That thing jest sets me up on end and makes me want ter swear!
I try ter be religious and ter tread the narrer way,
But seems as if that critter knew when I knelt down ter pray,
And all my thoughts of heaven go a-tumblin' down ter,--well,
A different kind of climate--when that bird sets out ter yell:
"_Hoo_-hoo! _Hoo_-hoo! _Hoo_-hoo!"

I read once in a poetry book, that Ezry had ter home,
The awful fuss a feller made about a crow, that come
And pestered him about ter death and made him sick and sore,
By settin' on his mantel-piece and hollerin' "Nevermore!"
But, say, I'd ruther have the crow, with all his fuss and row,
His bellerin' had _some_ sense, b'gosh! 'T was _English_, anyhow;
And all the crows in Christendom that talked a Christian talk
Would seem like nightingales, compared ter that air furrin squawk:
"_Hoo_-hoo! _Hoo_-hoo! _Hoo_-hoo!"

* * * * *