troop out for once, all my horses fit, no wire or trenches in the way,
the burst of the season ahead and the only chance I've had in four and
a-half years of doing a really artistic bit of carving they must go
and stop the ruddy War. Poo! ain't that the bally Army all over? Bah!
I've done with it."

So he filled in the bare patches in every Demobilisation Form Z 15 he
could lay pen to.

Taking the proud motto of the MOND dynasty--"Make yourself
necessary"--for guide, he became something different every day in his
quest after an "Essential Trade." He was in turn a one-man-business, a
railway-porter, a coal-miner, a farmer, a NORTHCLIFFE leader-writer, a
taxi-baron, a jazz-professor and a non-union barber. At one moment he
was single, an orphan alone and unloved; at another he had a drunken
wife, ten consumptive young children and several paralytic old parents
to support. All to no avail; nobody would believe him.

Then one day he heard from a friend who by the simple expedient of
posing as a schoolmaster for a few minutes was now in "civvies" and
getting three days' hunting and four days' golf a week.

William grabbed up yet another A.F. Z 15, and dedicated his life to
the intellectual uplift of the young.

This time he drew a reply and by return.

Corps H.Q. held the view that he, William, was the very fellow they
had been looking for, longing for, praying for. They had him appointed
Regimental Educational Officer (without increase of rank, pay or