clucks when she has laid an egg. Every time I found a lump--and I
found as many as six--I simply had to call Cook and Mary to come and
see."

"What fun!" murmured Frederic comfortably.

"I venture to suggest, dear, that the thing is beyond a joke. When I
next go to the coal-monger's I shall say in reply to the inevitable
question, 'A little coal-dust in the cellar and a good deal on the
chairs and tables and on my hands and face;' and I know he will say:
'You are lucky to have even that. There are millions in this town who,
etc., etc.' And so the thing will go on until one day he asks, 'Have
you no fuel at all?' when I can hear myself replying, 'Only two chairs
and one wardrobe,' and he will reply icily, 'You are lucky to have
that. Everybody else is dead because they had not even that.'

"And Frederic," I added abruptly, "as a coal-miner I demand the
minimum wage for my day--your hot bath to-morrow morning."

* * * * *

[Illustration: A MORNING IN THE HOME LIFE OF AN EMOTIONAL ACTRESS.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: "MY DEAR, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE LINKS TO-DAY?"

"OH, YES, AUNTIE. I SHALL TRY AND PUT IN A ROUND."

"BUT IT'S _POURING_! WHY, I WOULDN'T SEND A DOG OUT TO GOLF IN SUCH