stud of tame mice, two goldfish and several obsolete silkworms, or
would exchange for two-seater Midget with spanner.

DEAR SIR.--I have a small two-seater car. It is quite a young one. At
what age can I start feeding it on greenstuff? SMITH, MINOR.

PERSONAL.--Will the individual who was driving a Midget Car which ran
over old gentleman in the Strand be good enough to come forward and
pay for the watch-glass which he cracked?

BE ECONOMICAL.--Our Midgets only smell the petrol. It costs no more to
run a Midget than it does to run an automatic pipe-lighter.

_To the Midget Motor Car Company_.

GENTLEMEN,--With reference to the Midget Car you measured me for
recently, I ought to have mentioned that I wanted patch pockets on the
outside, in which to carry the tools. Yours, etc.

FOR SALE.--Owner whose two-seater car is a trifle tight under the arms
wishes to dispose of his pair of white spats.

* * * * *

"Prince Eitel Fritz has been telling the Germans that his father,
the ex-Kaiser, is now 'legally' dead. We must get rid of that
adjective without delay."--_John Bull_.

"If you see it in _John Bull_ ..." Grammarians please note.