to say to you, Benham, more than anything else is, YOU go on--YOU
make yourself equestrian. You drive your horse against Breeze's,
and go through the fire and swim in the ice-cold water and climb the
precipice and drink little and sleep hard. And--I wish I could do
so too."

"But why not?"

"Because I can't. Now I admit I've got shame in my heart and pride
in my head, and I'm strung up. I might do something--this
afternoon. But it won't last. YOU--you have pride in your bones.
My pride will vanish at a laugh. My honour will go at a laugh. I'm
just exalted by a crisis. That's all. I'm an animal of
intelligence. Soul and pride are weak in me. My mouth waters, my
cheek brightens, at the sight of good things. And I've got a
lickerish tail, Benham. You don't know. You don't begin to
imagine. I'm secretive. But I quiver with hot and stirring
desires. And I'm indolent--dirty indolent. Benham, there are days
when I splash my bath about without getting into it. There are days
when I turn back from a walk because there's a cow in the field. . . .
But, I spare you the viler details. . . . And it's that makes me
hate fine people and try so earnestly to persuade myself that any
man is as good as any man, if not a trifle better. Because I know
it isn't so. . . ."

"Billy," said Benham, "you've the boldest mind that ever I met."

Prothero's face lit with satisfaction. Then his countenance fell
again. "I know I'm better there," he said, "and yet, see how I let
in a whole system of lies to cover my secret humiliations. There,