"He is a d--d ass!" said Cornet Horsephiz, who was very ugly; "a horrid
puppy!" said Lieutenant St. Squintem, who was still uglier; "if he does
not ride better he will disgrace the regiment," said Captain Rivalhate,
who was very good-looking; "if he does not ride better, we will cut
him!" said Colonel Everdrill, who was a wonderful martinet; "I say, Mr.
Bumpemwell (to the riding-master,) make that youngster ride less like a
miller's sack."

"Pooh, sir, _he_ will never ride better."

"And why the d---l will he not?"

"Bless you, colonel, he is a great deal too handsome for a cavalry
officer!"

"True!" said Cornet Horsephiz.

"Very true," said Lieutenant St. Squintem.

"We must cut him!" said the Colonel.

And Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was accordingly cut.

Out hero was a youth of susceptibility--he quitted the ---- regiment,
and challenged the colonel. The colonel was killed!

"What a terrible blackguard is Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy!" said the
colonel's relations.

"Very true!" said the world.