a strong party under orders to carry the nearest R.E. dump by force
or fraud, and secure large quantities of timber, nails, canvas and,
if possible (the up-to-date R.E. dump secretes many unexpected
commodities), Turkey carpets, wall-paper, sofa-cushions and
bedroom-slippers.

The batmen were sent out with a limbered cart, some smoke shell and
the total establishment of billhooks, and forbidden to return without
sufficient material for bedsteads, window-shutters, bookshelves and
chairs. By evening the place began to feel habitable, and the C.C.,
when he looked in to borrow a horse, endeared himself to us all by
his obvious pleasure in our comparative comfort. We lent him the best
horse in the battery.

The Major's batman devoted the following day to the construction of
a species of retiring-room at one end of the hut, wherein the modest
members of the mess might bathe and splash at ease. The remainder of
the servants went out armed and returned with (1) a zinc bath, (2)
a stove, (3) a cuckoo clock, (4) a large mirror, (5) a warming-pan.
"Once let us make a home for ourselves," we said, "and our energies
will be free to finish the War." We devoted every cunning worker in
the battery to this great end. Drill was abandoned, stables forgotten.
We installed bookshelves, bootjacks, a sideboard, hat racks, a dumb
waiter, a stand for the gramophone and a roll-top desk for the Major.
The walls were tapestried with canvas, hung with pictures, scalps,
and the various decorations won by members of the mess. The original
building, disreputable and hateful, was hidden and forgotten.

And then the C.C. called again, and, after a minute and admiring
inspection of our abode, informed us that to his bitter sorrow he had