As for the titles, decorations and distinctions offered by the EX-KAISER
to Mr. HAROLD BEGBIE if he would bring about a _rapprochement_ between
England and Germany, and patriotically declined by the eminent
publicist, their name is legion.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE MENACE OF MAY.

AUSTEN CHAMBERMAID _(to John Bull)._ "YOUR TEA AND THE MORNING PAPER,
SIR."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Charlady (on the subject of appearance)._ "OF COURSE I
DON'T BOTHER NOW--BUT I USED TO BE ABLE TO TREAD ON MY 'AIR."]

* * * * *

CIVILIAN FLYING, 1930.

"You're late," said Millie, as John entered the hall and shook himself
free of his flying coat.

"Yes, dear; missed the 5.40 D.H. from the Battersea Park Take-off by a
minute to-night. Jones brought me home on that neat little knock-about
spad he's just bought. Small two-seater arrangement, you know. Then I
walked from the 'drome just to stretch myself. They don't give you too
much move space in those planettes."