will, it is hoped, supply a long-felt want in the Metropolis. I
understand that a month's course at the establishment will enable the
feeblest of mortals to hold his own and more in the fearful mêlée that
rages daily round train and vehicle. I have a prospectus before me as
I write; here are some of its sub-heads: "The Strap-Hanger's
Stranglehold," "Foot Frightfulness," "How to Enter a Bus Secretly," "The
Umbrella Barrage," "Explosives--When their Use is Justified," "What to
do when the Conductor Falls off the Bus." This certainly promises a
speedy amelioration of present-day travelling conditions.


_Timbuctoo Tosh_.

Last week, when all those ridiculous rumours anent Timbuctoo were flying
about, you will remember how I warned you to set no faith in them. You
will admit that I was a good counsellor. Nothing _has_ happened at
Timbuctoo. I doubt very much whether anything _could_ happen there.


_Hush!_

On the other hand, keep your eye on a spot not a thousand miles away
from Clubland. Something will certainly happen there some day, and, when
it does, bear in mind that I warned you.


_Amazing Discovery._

Mr. ROOSEVELT'S discovery that, unknown to himself, he has been blind in
one eye for over a year, is surely surpassed by the experience of Mr.