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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, November 28, 1917 by Various
page 27 of 53 (50%)
"In a few months," I continued remorselessly, "they will be absolutely
unprocurable" (he gave a start of recognition), "and you, having bought
them, will sneak through life with the feelings of a food-hoarder,
mingled with those of the man who slew the last Camberwell Beauty.
I know the state of mind. But you need not distress yourself. These
garments (I indicated them again) will only be unprocurable because they
are in your possession. I have about half-a-ton myself, which, until a
few minutes age, would have been quite unprocurable. But I have changed
my mind and, if you will come with me, you can take your choice with
a clear conscience, and (I glanced maliciously at my faded hosier and
haberdasher) at the prices which were prevalent a year ago."

I linked my arm with that of the stranger, and together we passed out of
the shop into the unpolluted light of day.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mother (to child who has been naughty)._ "AREN'T YOU
RATHER ASHAMED OF YOURSELF?"

_Child._ "WELL, MOTHER, I WASN'T. BUT NOW THAT YOU'VE SUGGESTED IT I
AM."]

* * * * *

PRETENDING.

I know a magic woodland with grassy rides that ring
To strange fantastic music and whirr of elfin wing,
There all the oaks and beeches, moss-mantled to the knees,
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