Indeed, I heard one lady tell her companion the name of the play they
are in and the extraordinary length of its run, and since she spoke
loudly I thought how delightful it must be to be a theatrical celebrity
and hear cordial things like that as you move about. Neither of them
paid any attention, however, although their friend showed signs that
the flattery had not escaped him; the two Illustrions (to coin a word)
merely walked on, superior to our homage, and disappeared into Charles
Street, where the stage door of His Majesty's is.

Pouring though it was, and grovelling admirer of footlight favourites as
I am, somehow I never thought to offer either of them my umbrella. But
then one doesn't offer an umbrella to a donkey or a camel, even though
they are two of the stars of _Chu Chin Chow_.

* * * * *

ANOTHER INJUSTICE.

From a Sinn Fein speech:--

"When Ireland was silent England did not hear her cry
out."--_Wicklow News-Letter_.

* * * * *

"WHY SHOULD A RABBIT COST 2s. 3d.?

"This question from a reader induces me to postpone until next week
my analysis of the high cost of onions."--_Empire News_.