car."

My interest thoroughly stimulated by this time, I made yet one more
attempt. I wrote:--

"DEAR SIR,--Referring to Methylated Spirit (Motor Fuel)
Restriction Order, No. 2, 1917, I wish to sell my car"--which was
true--"but how, as I am now practically debarred from driving it
on the road, am I to give an intending purchaser a trial run?"

This was evidently a shrewd thrust, which required consideration, and
I heard nothing for a fortnight, during which I disposed of the car to
the proprietor of the local garage. At last the well-known O.H.M.S.
envelope gladdened my eyes. The letter within it, apologetic but
dignified in tone, is, I fancy, the most popular in stock. It said:--

"I am directed by the Methylated Spirit Controller to express
regret that there is no trace of the correspondence to which you
refer."

I left it at that.

* * * * *

SUGAR CARDS AND WILLS.

_TO THE MANAGER OF THE LEGAL DEPARTMENT, "PUNCH."_

Sir,--I am one of the executors and trustees of the will of a relation
who cannot, I fear, live for many weeks. Included in his property will