he would take it in War Bonds or bones.

***

The Timber Commission reports a grave shortage of birch, and a number
of earnest ushers are asking, "What is the use of the censorship?"

***

It is now declared that the high explosive found on Countess
MARKIEVICZ'S "green scouts" was not intended for destructive purposes.
Mr. DE VALERA, M.P., was merely going to eat it.

***

Many grocers and publicans, it is stated, have already been combed out
of the Welsh coal mines. Efforts to comb the others out of their gold
mines are meeting with only indifferent success.

***

British grit will win, declares Sir WILLIAM ROBERTSON. If some of
our elderly statesmen will refrain from dropping theirs into the
machinery.

***

The London Fire Brigade has been given permission to form a band. The
lack of some method of keeping the crowd amused at the more protracted
fires has often proved an embarrassment to the force.