smiling.

Thanks to the Spartan habits formed during his connection with both
services, belt-tightening has no terrors for Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL. A
quid of Navy tobacco suffices for breakfast, and his only other meal
consists of a slice of bully beef with a hard biscuit served on an
inverted packing-case.

The wild rumours recently current as to the amount of nutriment
required for the upkeep of Mr. G.K. CHESTERTON have now been happily
set at rest. The needful calories for twenty-four hours of his
strenuous existence are supplied by two cups of cocoa, a shred of
dried toast, a Brazil nut, a glass of sodawater and a grilled banana.

* * * * *

"In one case the good cows from one herd had an average
production of 9,592 lbs. milk, and 406 lbs. of fat, while
the poor cows had a production of only 3,098 lbs. of milk
and 119 lbs. of tea."--_Farming News_.

Give us the poor cows every time.

* * * * *

From a Church paper:--

"'EARLY CHRISTIANS.' I am sorry you cannot get these from
the Army and Navy Stores."