I went into the kitchen about ten minutes arterwards to see 'ow they was
getting on. Besides which they was both calling for me.

"Now then!" ses my missus, who was leaning up against the dresser with
'er arms folded, "wot 'ave you got to say for yourself walking in as bold
as brass with this hussy?"

"Bill!" ses the woman, "did you hear wot she called me?"

She spoke to me like that afore my wife, and in two minutes they was at
it, hammer and tongs.

Fust of all they spoke about each other, and then my missus started
speaking about me. She's got a better memory than most people, because
she can remember things that never 'appened, and every time I coughed she
turned on me like a tiger.

"And as for you," she ses, turning to the woman, "if you did marry 'im
you should ha' made sure that he 'adn't got a wife already."

"He married me fust," ses the woman.

"When?" ses my wife. "Wot was the date?"

"Wot was the date you married 'im?" ses the other one.

They stood looking at each other like a couple o' game-cocks, and I could
see as plain as a pike-staff 'ow frightened both of 'em was o' losing me.

"Look here!" I ses at last, to my missus, "talk sense. 'Ow could I be