"A mud-bath!" ses both of 'em, squeaking like a couple o' silly parrots.

"For rheumatics," I ses. "I 'ad it some-thing cruel to-night, and I
thought that p'r'aps the mud 'ud do it good. I read about it in the
papers. There's places where you pay pounds and pounds for 'em, but,
being a pore man, I 'ad to 'ave mine on the cheap."

The policeman stood there looking at me for a moment, and then 'e began
to laugh till he couldn't stop 'imself.

"Love-a-duck!" he ses, at last, wiping his eyes. "I wish I'd seen it."

"Must ha' looked like a fat mermaid," ses the landlord, wagging his silly
'ead at me. "I can just see old Bill sitting in the mud a-combing his
'air and singing."

They 'ad some more talk o' that sort, just to show each other 'ow funny
they was, but they went off at last, and I fastened up the gate and went
into the office to clean myself up as well as I could. One comfort was
they 'adn't got the least idea of wot I was arter, and I 'ad a fancy that
the one as laughed last would be the one as got that twelve quid.

I was so tired that I slept nearly all day arter I 'ad got 'ome, and I
'ad no sooner got back to the wharf in the evening than I see that the
landlord 'ad been busy. If there was one silly fool that asked me the
best way of making mud-pies, I should think there was fifty. Little
things please little minds, and the silly way some of 'em went on made me
feel sorry for my sects.