II

IN WHICH LIZZIE RETURNS TO HER HOME, HAVING MET A QUEEN AND
ACQUIRED AN ACCENT AND A FIANCE

"Sam Henshaw's girl had graduated an' gone abroad with her mother.
One Sunday 'bout a year later, Sam flew up to the door o' my house
in his automobile. He lit on the sidewalk an' struggled up the
steps with two hundred an' forty-seven pounds o' meat on him. He
walked like a man carryin' a barrel o' pork. He acted as if he was
glad to see me an' the big arm-chair on the piaz'.

"'What's the news?' I asked.

"'Lizzie an' her mother got back this mornin',' he gasped.
'They've been six months in Europe. Lizzie is in love with it.
She's hobnobbed with kings an' queens. She talks art beautiful. I
wish you'd come over an' hear her hold a conversation. It's
wonderful. She's goin' to be a great addition to this community.
She's got me faded an' on the run. I ran down to the store for a
few minutes this mornin', an' when I got back she says to me:

"'"Father, you always smell o' ham an' mustard. Have you been in
that disgusting store? Go an' take a bahth at once." That's what
she called it--a "bahth." Talks just like the English
people--she's been among 'em so long. Get into my car an' I'll
take ye over an' fetch ye back.'