an' lettin' go o' the grand life. They've begun to take hold o'
the broom an' the dish-cloth, an' the boys seem to be takin' hold
o' them with more vigor an' determination. The boys are concluding
that it's cheaper to buy a piano-player than to marry one, that
canned prima-donnas are better than the home-grown article, that
women are more to be desired than playthings.




IV

IN WHICH THE HAM WAR HAS ITS BEGINNING

"One day in the old time a couple of industrious Yankees were hard
at work in a field," Socrates continued. "Suddenly one said to the
other:

"'I wish I was worth ten thousand dollars.'

"An' the other asked:

"'What would ye do with it?'

"The wisher rested on his shovel an' gave his friend a look of
utter contempt.

"'What would I do with it?' he said. 'Why, you cussed fool, I'd
set down--an' without blamin' myself.'