Cleaveland, Admiral Barrymore, K.C.B., and his cousins to the fiftieth
remove, into strong convulsions, or little fits. She, the lady, had sixty
thousand pounds; that, of course, they could not object to. She had eloped
with the Honourable Mr. Augustus Headerton;--mere youthful indiscretion.
She was little and ugly;--that only concerned her husband. She was proud
and extravagant;--those (they said) were lady-like failings. She was
ignorant and stupid;--her sisters-in-law would have pardoned that. She was
vulgar;--that was awkward. Her father was a carcass butcher in Cole's Lane
market--death and destruction!

It could never be forgiven! the cut direct was unanimously agreed on, and
the little lady turned up her little nose in disdain, as her handsome
barouche rolled past the lumbering carriage of the Right Honourable Lord
Headerton. She persuaded her husband to purchase that beautiful villa, in
view of the family domain, that she might have more frequent opportunities
of bringing, as she elegantly expressed it, "the proud beggars to their
trumps;--and why not?--money's money, all the world over." The Honourable
Mister Augustus _depended_ on his agent for the purchase, and some two
thousand and odd pounds were consequently paid, or said to have been paid,
for it, more than its value. And then commenced the general warfare; full
purse and empty head--_versus_ no purse, and old nobility. They had the
satisfaction of ruining each other--the full purse was emptied by
devouring duns, and the old nobility suffered by its connexion with
vulgarity.

"I want to know, Honourable Mister Augustus Headerton"--(the lady always
gave the full name when addressing her husband; she used to say it was all
she got for her money),--"I want to know, Honourable Mister Augustus
Headerton, the reason why the music master's lessons, given to the Misses
Headerton (they were blessed with seven sweet pledges of affection), have