wild man is happy in one spot, and there he remains; the civilised man
is wretched in every place he happens to be in, and then congratulates
himself on being accommodated with a machine that will whirl him to
another, where he will be just as miserable as ever."


_II.--The Squire and his Guests_


Squire Headlong, in the meanwhile, was superintending operations in four
scenes of action at the Hall--the cellar, the library, the
picture-gallery, and the dining-room-preparing for the reception of his
philosophical visitors. His myrmidon on this occasion was a little,
red-nosed butler, who waddled about the house after his master, while
the latter bounced from room to room like a cracker. Multitudes of
packages had arrived by land and water, from London, and Liverpool, and
Chester, and Manchester, and various parts of the mountains; books,
wine, cheese, mathematical instruments, turkeys, figs, soda-water,
fiddles, flutes, tea, sugar, eggs, French horns, sofas, chairs, tables,
carpets, beds, fruits, looking-glasses, nuts, drawing-books, bottled
ale, pickles, and fish sauce, patent lamps, barrels of oysters, lemons,
and jars of Portugal grapes. These, arriving in succession, and with
infinite rapidity, had been deposited at random--as the convenience of
the moment dictated--sofas in the cellar, hampers of ale in the
drawing-room, and fiddles and fish-sauce in the library. The servants
unpacking all these in furious haste, and flying with them from place to
place, tumbled over one another upstairs and down. All was bustle,
uproar, and confusion; yet nothing seemed to advance, while the rage and
impetuosity of the squire continued fermenting to the highest degree of
exasperation, which he signified, from time to time, by converting some