itself, and I thought, 'surely it can not be wrong to think of the
Saviour, although He is not mine.' With this conclusion I gave myself up
to admire, to love and to praise Him, to wonder why I had never done
so before, and to hope that all the great congregation around me were
joining with me in acknowledging Him to be chief among ten thousand and
the One altogether lovely." On going home she could at first scarcely
believe in her own identity, the feeling of peace and love to God and
to all the world was so unlike the turbulent emotions that had long
agitated her soul. "From this time my mind went slowly onward, examining
the way step by step, trembling and afraid, yet filled with a calm
contentment which made all the dealings of God with me appear just
right. I know myself to be perfectly helpless. I can not promise to do
or to be anything; but I do want to put everything else aside, and to
devote myself entirely to the service of Christ."

Her account of this memorable experience is dated August 28, 1840.
"While writing it," she adds, "I have often laid aside my pen, to sit
and think over in silent wonder the way in which the Lord has led me."

How in later years she regarded certain features of this experience, is
not fully known. The record passed at once out of her hands, and until
after her death was never seen by anyone, excepting the friend for whose
eye it was written. Many of its details had, probably, faded entirely
from her memory. It can not be doubted, however, that she would have
judged her previous state much less severely, would hardly have charged
it with hypocrisy, or denied that the Saviour had been graciously
leading her, and that she had some real love to Him, before as well as
after this crisis. So much may be inferred from the record itself and
from the narrative in the preceding chapter. Her tender interest in the
spiritual welfare of her friends and pupils, the high tone of religious