***

A ratcatcher has been granted three pounds of sugar a week until
Christmas by a rural Food Control Committee, whom he informed that
rats would not look at poison without sugar. The rats' lack of
patriotism in refusing to forego their poison in these times of
necessity is the subject of unfavourable comment.

***

There is no foundation for the report that a prominent manufacturer
identified with the Liberal Party has been offered a baronetcy if he
will contribute five pounds of sugar to the party funds.

***

No confirmation is to hand of the report that Commander BELLAIRS,
M.P., has been _spurlos versnubt_.

***

"Why can't the Navy have a Bairnsfather?" asks _The Weekly Dispatch_.
This habit of carping at the Senior Service is being carried to
abominable lengths.

***

Charged with failing to report himself, a man who lived on Hackney
Marshes stated that he did not know there was a war on, and that
nobody had told him anything about it. A prospectus of _The Times'_