my friends often suggest my seeing a doctor, as they think there may
be a piece of bone pressing on the brain.

DEAR SIR,--I used to suffer from red hair, and gradually I am
getting the stuff turned grey. By the way, can you give me a rhyme
for "Camouflage"?

DEAR SIR,--I began writing lyrics for ragtime revues, because I
wanted to see what would happen if I just took hold of the pen and
let her rip.

* * * * *

From a calendar:--

"October 31. Wednesday.

August to October Game Certificates expire,
Mystical carpeted earth, with dead leaves of desire,
Disrobing earth dying beneath love's fire."

The rhymes are all right, but the scansion of the first line is
susceptible of improvement.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Fair Lecturer_ (_to Food Economy Committee_). "OF
COURSE I HAD TO MAKE IT AS SIMPLE AS POSSIBLE TO REACH A RATHER LOW
LEVEL OF INTELLECT. I HOPE YOU ALL UNDERSTOOD."]