* * * * *

[Illustration: THE GREAT UNCONTROLLED.

LORD RHONDDA. "LOOK HERE, JOHN, ARE YOU GOING TO TIGHTEN THAT BELT, OR
MUST I DO IT FOR YOU?"

JOHN BULL. "YOU DO IT FOR ME. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THERE FOR."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Farmer_. "WHY DO THEY LET THAT CLOCK CHIME? AREN'T
THEY AFRAID THE HUNS MIGHT HEAR IT?"

_Yokel_. "BLESS YOU, THAT'S TO DECEIVE 'EM. IT'S 'ALF-A-HOUR FAST."]

* * * * *

HOW TO BECOME A TOWN-MAJOR.

Through large and luminous glasses Second-Lieut. St. John regards this
War and its problems. He is a man of infinite jobs. There are few
villages in France of which he has not been Town Major. Between
times he has been Intelligence Officer, Divisional Burial Officer,
Divisional Disbursing Officer, Salvage Officer, Claims, Baths,
Soda-water and Canteens Officer.

He was once appointed Town-Major of some brick-dust, a rafter and two
empty bully-beef tins--all of which in combination bore the name of a
village. He assumed his duties with a bland Pickwickian zest, which